Slow and Slightly Unsteady

One Year ago, plus eleven days, I began the biggest transformation my home has ever experienced. Dehoarding doesn’t happen in just an hour like on TV.  It takes a while.  My mentor, Mrs. Passion, warned that it would take 6-9 months.  I’m at the year mark and still not done.  I blame it on life.  Six kids and a crazy schedule tends to shoot the best laid plans out of the water.  You know the whole two steps forward, one back. 

However, I am still progressing – in the right direction as well.  I’ve been itching to show you progress, but I’m such a fruity-tootie perfectionist that I want to wait until everything’s done.  Then you’ll get the WOW effect to the oomph degree.  Now I’m kicking myself, because makeovers don’t happen in one post.  Unlike ‘Hoarding, Buried Alive’ on TV, the work to declutter can take weeks, and sometimes months, and in my case I’m now in it a whole year.  One of my biggest lessons:  Procrastination equals Pain… and anxiety.  Neither of which is fun to deal with.  In the past I’d bury them with more projects and stuff.  Now I’m confronting them head on.  I still don’t like pain.  But getting through it is finally worth more than letting it fester.

Case in Point:  Never, and I mean never let your house scream at you for a paint job like this.

Twelve years ago we paid an arm and a leg to have a professional paint it.  Within 5 years we noticed the paint bubbling, and three years ago we really knew it needed to be done.  But the unbloggable happened and stuff like painting the home retreats to the back of your mind.  When we started the whole transformation process a year ago we knew that our first outside order of business was to paint the home.  This summer we realized that if we didn’t tackle the project now we would be forking over thousands to replace the siding as well.

So began the most painful home improvement project we’ve tackled to date.  Believe it or not twice as stressful as retiling the kitchen floor.  What we thought would take a week has turned into four weeks of nightmarish adventure.  Add in the fact that we’ve never attempted a project to this magnitude which played into the tension as well.  We helped a friend paint her home and it only took 6 1/2 hours from start to finish.  Yes, a lot of people showed up to help.  It gave us a false sense of confidence that it would be easy-peasy.

We pressure washed our home for nearly three days trying to knock off all the chipped paint and not tear up the siding.  The results were disappointing.

Sure we got a lot of paint off but there was still too much chipped paint hanging on by a thread waiting to be scrapped.

  Some of the siding didn’t survive and had to be replaced.  In replacing some of the siding we also discovered shortcuts taken by the original builders where they had cut corners, not laid down the vapor-barrier in full which led to rotten wood underneath the trim and siding near the bottom.  So some lower trim had to be totally ripped off.  Our efforts to save money by doing the job ourselves ended up costing us as much as paying someone else to do it.   But only because we had to replace damaged sections caused by our procrastination. The only redeeming note of comfort is that I don’t think a professional would have fixed the damage, just covered it up.

Abner, my boy, was my rock.  He and his friend Chet put in hours daily for nearly two weeks scrapping the paint down to this.

Our favorite tool of choice was an angle grinder with a steel wool bristle brush.  The paint sander attachments made for chipping off paint didn’t last nearly as long.  So we were thrilled with the recommendation of the steel wool attachment. 

Another hard lessons to learn was don’t buy cheap tools.  We burnt through the motors on two angle grinders and even a paint sprayer before we bit the bullet and bought the proper equipment.

Poor Abner had to also deal with the nasty heights.  Our home sits on a hill which makes two stories nearly three on the backside.  Thankfully we’ve the best friends in the world who loaned us scaffolding and ladders, ropes and harnesses.  Friends are the best.  So glad I’m not a recluse.

Triple glad I’ve got a son willing to help.

Then there was another couple of days spent caulking every corner, window, door,  and siding seam.

Since we were down to bare wood on two sides of our home it only made sense to prime before we painted.

We were blessed with some more wonderful help our first day of priming.  Our church was wrapping up a community service project for Northwest Day of Service and many members stopped by after the community project to give us a hand with our adventure.  It’s amazing how many hands can make quick work of taping up and priming.

And another lessons learned was…

Teenagers all will volunteer for any work if they get to be on a roof.  I had to pray like crazy that no one would get hurt.  I think I drove a couple people bonkers with my worry.  Sorry Prince Erik.

Here’s my manly men priming the back side of our home, while dancing on boards in the effort of trying to give me a heart attack.  I am not a fun person to be around when I’m worried.  Yet they survived me.

And as for the what our home looks like now…

Well, it’s painted…

mostly, except for the trim…

however… it’s raining…

but we beat the rain.  Our home is safe and protected and we learned some valuable lessons.

*  If you want something done right – do it yourself or find someone you really trust to do the job correctly.

*  Plan on it costing more than you thought.

*  Don’t skimp on tools.

*  Plan on it taking three times as long as you thought it would.

*  You’ll also be amazed at how many wonderful people there are that are angels on earth.  To the S.V.’s of the earth and especially to Abner’s friend Chet and his family.  They are the best sort of friends one can every hope for.   

*Abner learned he wants to get a great education to land a great job, earn some big bucks to pay someone else to do the work so that he will never have to ever do something like this again.  That’s my boy – he’s a dreamer like me after all.

There, now you know the before and during part.  I’m praying the liquid sunshine lets up so that I can show you the after pictures by Wednesday or Thursday.  Until then I’ve got to tackle the housework and laundry that’s been piling up while I was distracted outside.

Tootles,

FawnDear

When Imagination goes Awry

We just flew home from Neverland, ahhhh what an adventure.  Many thanks to all the participants who joined me there.  Almost done with me Neverland clock… can’t wait… hopefully this weekend it will contain the names of the lucky fairy door winners.

And next year, I’ll be visiting Neverland again because I can’t pass up the opportunity to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the first release of J.M. Barrie’s first book ‘Peter Pan and Wendy’.

My mind is swirling with all the fun we are going to have next year.  Who knows maybe my children will put on a clothesline theater production of the play. 

So, as you know I’ve been blessed with abundant imagination, as have my children.

Fortunately I have the good sense to keep a foot in both the land of imagination and reality at the same time.  My kids not so much.  Which is where it’s up to me to make sure I don’t lose them to their flights of fancy.

Four-year old Hope has enjoyed the ride to Neverland, just as I did when I was her age.  She presented me with this darling picture of Peter and Wendy that she drew.  It’s magic.

However…

Princess warned me that Hope was standing in her window waiting for Peter to come and fly her to Neverland.

Gulp!!! 

Her window is over two stories off the ground.  Fortunately she didn’t attempt to fly without Peter and Pixie Dust.  However, after I re-started my heart, I think the window may be barred, unless I’m in the room reading Bedtime stories.

Oh Heavens, that brought me back to reality fast.  I know where she get’s her wonder from.  It’s from me, this chick…

Me, as a wee one of course.  See the deer-caught-in-headlights look… I’ve perfected it during my many daydreams.  Remember how I told you my first memories of Peter Pan was listening to my Dad read me stories while sitting in a trailer home at my Grandparents farm.  Well in my memory (imagination) and for years (okay until this year)  I thought that trailer looked like this.  Maybe my thoughts latched onto it because it has the nostalgic look about it.

Can you imagine my dismay when I found this picture.

No, not the dismay of seeing a photo of wee me in curlers but notice the trailer in the background.  I didn’t recognize it at all.  The blue and white shelter was so chased out of my memory, replace by a sliver ghost that wasn’t real.  I had to immediately contact my parents to see if the silver ghost was a true memory at all.  It wasn’t.  The only trailer I lived in was the box shaped one in the picture.  The Airstream trailer, sadly was a false memory at best.  My Dad did confirm the stories under the window though.  Whew!  At least I’m not all bonkers.

Maybe the airstream is a future memory?  Hummm.  A Traveling Nursery?  

Okay enough dwelling on my imaginative memory.  I’ve got just a couple days left of summer before school starts and I’m going to work hard on helping my kids find their footing in both the land of reality and imagination.

When Inmates Run the Asylum

And the Loons are in control or so it feels.  Between cleaning up after mud splattered walls, clutter strewed family room and the Asylum vehicle running the funny farm patients to and fro, well, it’s nigh enough to drive the Nuthouse Director to darn near check herself into the facility.

Saw this here BeauTy while out driving the other day.  Udders and all.  Don’t you think this would make the perfect Funny Farm Vehicle for my crazy herd?  Kind of gives a new meaning to Mad Cow (which is one of the nicknames I have around these here parts).

And don’t even get me started on the weeping and wailing associated at dinner time when you try to feed the little wacko’s something green and healthy.  You would think I was trying to poison their little systems with something radioactive and toxic.

WELL NO MORE!!!  No I’m not closing down the facility but I am taking Back the Funny Farm.  And I have proof that I can do it too.

Why?  I discovered I was Wonder Woman after all.  Here’s positive proof.

The Unbloggable erupted with the force of a spewing volcano this week.   A very destructive volcano both mentally, and financially and guess who survived.  We all did.  Instead of it sending me back to Mommy Zombie-land or to the store to buy a huge box of Ding-Dongs to down by myself – I survived – I didn’t self destruct.  I didn’t give in to despair and let the Unbloggable dementor suck all my soul’s joy from me.  I was able to see the rays of hope, joy and love that are ever present, guiding and buoying up our family.

I’ve never forgotten the words that Marilla said to Anne in the Anne of Green Gables Movie.

‘To Despair is to turn your back on God.’ 

So when it’s too overwhelming and I feel I can’t give anymore, that’s when I fall to my knees and turn it over to God.  And you know what?  He’s been there every time.

So back to reclaiming the Funny Farm.  If I can survive weeks like the last one – And I know I will because I know who’s backing me up.  I know I can reclaim this mad mess of a situation we’ve got boiling.  If I can go through weeks like the last one and still notice the beauty and love of my children.  Then I’ll be okay.

Loved it when the inmates stopped fighting long enough to make each other some mini-daisy fairy crowns.

Who’d have thunk you could make something so charming out of someone else’s weeds. Now who doesn’t love it when a big sis will do this for you?  I know Princess does.

And I can’t tell you how watching the kids fish with fingers made my day.

Yum, finger food!

And now since we know the location of the magical fish that eat fingers, we can go there often – just to make mom smile.

Oh, and guess what?  You know that 60 lbs. that found me since this whole ruckus started.  Well I managed to lose 11 of it over the last 3 weeks.  Wahoo!  I’m taking evasive action not to let them find me again either.

My Brain… What, Where?

I’ve discovered over the past nine plus weeks that stress can do really funny things to your brain.  Mine has gone missing. I am searching for it as we speak.  My short term memory is shot to bits. 

I constantly find myself driving to somewhere totally unrelated to where I need to be or asking my  husband the same question I asked him not 5 minutes before, because I forgot his answer.  It’s a little scary.  But I think I’ve got a solution to my problem.  It’s called Sleep, Exercise, and eating something other than Chocolate and Sugar.  DUH!!! & UGH!!!

 

And while I’m working on those three things I’m relying heavily on Lists to help me stay on track.   Lists are great except I have to remember where I put the lists and then I have to remember to actually look at the lists.  Wow, that’s a lot for a fried brain to remember.  But it’s working.  Thankfully I haven’t misplaced any kids yet,  they wear clean clothes, eat healthy foods, and we still visit the land of imagination occasionally.  Yes, my house is very messy and still cluttered but no matter how hard things are I’ve got to remember to Smile and keep going. 

Seeing how I’ve already lost one week off the 100 days till Christmas – I’ve got to get BUSY!!! Without losing what’s left of my brain as well.

I found my Holiday planner and I’ve thrown out the pages I no longer need, and have fresh pages in to start to work on. 

So over the next week this is my Holiday Checklist.  I’ve decided to show you the ideas on what I’ll be making my kids because they never read my blog, I’m not interesting enough and they know that I’ll tell them if I blog about them.  However my siblings who probably check daily to see if I’ve been committed to the funny farm yet, are not going to get any hints on their gifts.  Neener, neener, NEENER!  But remember my WISH budget of $200 which means simple, but hopefully meaningful.

So this weeks HOLIDAY countdown includes…

1.  Update Holiday Mailing List.

2.  Decorate for Halloween. (with the exception of carved pumpkins. For that would make a moldy gooey mess if done now)

3.  Finalize costume plans.

4.  Start planning Christmas Gift Lists

So that’s what’s happening on the holiday front.  On the Home front.  I’ve got to process all the goodies my garden is throwing at me.

Thankfully the girls are excited to enjoy these last few days of our Indian Summer.  Lea picked and cleaned some carrots for me.

While Princess and Hope decided to tackle a weed patch without me even asking them.

I think they were motivated to uncover this hidden treasure.

Silly weeds had no chance against those two.  They uncovered the bike in no time.

Now I’ve just got to clear out the garage so we can hide the bikes from future weed infestations.

Well I’m off – lots of work to wrap my mind around.  Now where did I put that list?

It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Party!

First a Big Thank You to Vanessa for hosting this Mad Party! What a remarkable artistic kindred spirit she is. To see all the other Mad participants you can visit A Fanciful Twist.

The day began with the tinkling of china tea cups being taken off their dusty shelves.

And a flurry of last minute sugary sprinkling.

Topsy Turvey Yum Yums, although clumsily decorated, eagerly awaited the party guests.

The table was set but where were the tea party feasters???

No where to be found.

This wouldn’t do. The Mad Tea Party needed some guest or it’s hostess would dissolve into a puddle of tears. She had just spent the entire day in the kitchen preparing her delicious treats.

When who should come to her rescue?

I know your thinking the Mad Hatter (Mr.. Lovee Himself)?

Not exactly. But she was graced with the arrival of the Mad Madder Himself. Who arrived in the Nick of Time although Late. He’s always Late! Which drives the Hostess Mad.

And why was he Late? Because he picked up a bunch of character’s from the Mad House. (Whose images are slightly blurred to protect their mental identity.) But Come On – Gilligan?, Barbossa?, and Mrs.. Clause (although I can see how she’d go mad working with and feeding thousands of elves all day).

‘Oh well, how bad can it get?’ thought the hostess. At least the Queen of Hearts didn’t show up and demand her head.

Even the guests were suspicious of each other.

So despite her misgivings she proceeded to serve the hungry inmates loonies.

And it seemed for the first few minutes things would go splendidly, the party was a success and the hostess poured the drink and relaxed.

Then it happened. Someone complained.

That did it. After slaving all day in the kitchen, arranging flowers, greeting crazy mad guests – the Hostess Lost it. And sadly the first person to feel her reaction was the Mad Madder himself. He took a direct hit of Banana Cream Pie to the noggin. And he came up smiling – Official proof of his Madness!

The madness began to spread and soon it was apparent that everyone present was insanely mad. Except one neighbor girl who sanely ran quickly home to report the madness and probably vowed to never accept another invitation to the Mad Hostess’s parties.

As for the Mad Hostess – she got nailed as well. Serves her right – the Mad Lady!

Other than the neighbor girl there was only one causality. Poor little Hope who consistently covers herself with dirt, marker and food on a daily basis couldn’t handle the fact that mom the Mad Hostess actually dumped noodles on her head. Apparently the only mess that is acceptable to her is the one she creates herself. Who’d have known? The Mad Hostess is now saving her pennies for Hope’s future therapy sessions.

Other than Hope the rest of the party’s attendee’s surprisingly claimed the Mad Tea Party a roaring success! The highlight of their evening, if not day (week would probably be pushing it)! And the real reason it was a success is probably because they didn’t stick around to clean up the mess.

Thank heavens for pressure washers.

Ahhhhh, it might take a while for the Mad Hostess to clean all this up.

Oh and thanks for joining us for our Mad Adventure in Wonder(what they were thinking) land.

Toodles,

The Mad Hostess – AKA Fawndear

Money Talks

But all mine ever says is good-bye!

Oh well, I’m used to it. 

Remember when I tempted fate last fall by saying, ‘Because if I’m really curse then the  repairs will pile up faster than the savings.’   Only to discover how cursed I really was because  within a month me, myself and I: 1.)  put my foot through the roof…

2.) listened to the clothes dryer die a screechy death,

3.) discovered a $22,000 slow leak in the kitchen cause by a stupid dishwasher…

4.) lost the keys to the truck and had another vehicle break down, and

5.)  lost 5 years worth of family photos due to computer fussiness.

6.) Lost a freezer full of food and discovered a mongo leak beneath the master bath.

We guesstimated that we had over $42,000  worth of fix-up’s hit us in one month.  And since then hardly anything has been resolved.

Well guess what?

No nothing new broke down.  Thank goodness.  And yes I’m still washing dishes by hand in our Redneck sink.

However.  Today is a good day.

The work to repair the roof has started.  Only eight months later.  But it has started.

Nasty Rotted excuse for a roof isn’t it.

Can’t wait until it’s done.  Wa-hoo!