Saturday, December 29, 2007

Anti-New Year's Resolutions

As the year comes to an end I’m faced with the inevitable thoughts of putting New Year’s resolutions to paper. Who am I kidding? After 30’ish years of guilt-ridden failure, I have finally come to the conclusion that New Year’s resolutions have never worked for me and never will. Kind of depressing that it took me so long to figure that one out. Is it because they are cursed or because the word ‘year’ in the title means that, like a year, the goal is temporary, and not meant to be forever. Why do goals so often come with the failure and guilt? I want my changes to be permanent.

I had a clue last year that my resolutions wouldn’t work so I skipped setting goals in my favorite areas – you know the same goals that you set year after year – lose weight, make money, be happy, and for me get organized. But old habits die hard and the people pleaser inside myself, still felt the need to set some goals. That way when asked what my goals were, I could respond with something witty and unique. I succeeded at neither. I decided to have my only two resolutions be, ready the drum roll, one: Never let the car’s gas tank go under half full (that lasted about 3 weeks, but longer than the national average of two weeks), and two: Always go to bed with a clean kitchen sink. Sorry Flylady, but I think that New Year’s resolution lasted about 2 days.

Soooo, with that miserable failure I've come to the conclusion that…

I was right (the three words my husband has to hear way too often. Sorry off subject). Last year when I finally decided not to set a New Year’s Resolution of losing weight guess what? Lo and behold I lost a whopping 70 lbs. And in losing the weight you wouldn’t believe how much happier and healthy I am now compared to the old, depressed and then-medicated me from last year.

So this year, with tongue firmly intrenched in cheek, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will definitely not, under no circumstances, set New Year’s Resolutions to finally figure out how to manage money.

And no amount of arm-twisting, no matter how hard my husband and kids plead, will ever make me resolve to tackle the clutter beast that has taken over our home.

I’m am fully aware however, that by not setting these resolutions, next year, by this time, and without the guilt of failure, I will be much richer and have a spotless immaculate home that will make other mommies of multiple kiddo’s drool with envy.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not anti-goal setting. I’ll make some plans but there is no way on earth I’ll call them New Year’s Resolutions. I’m a firm believer that Goals not written are only wishes. Instead I’ll think I’ll drop-kick the idea of so-called goals and call them Fawn’s Dream Quests. That sounds much more magical, Disney-ish, fantastic, and fun to me. Goals carry guilt. Dreams, aside from the nightmares and underwear in a crowded room, can be brought up over and over again with no guilt attached. I’ll even write some of my dream quests down on paper and flourish them with curly q’s and doodles with flowers and stars and such, just to take them beyond the wish phase.

New Year’s Resolutions are obligatory and are set just because it’s a new year, and like bad habits, that’s what everyone does. Dream Quests, unlike years, never die. They are dreams with purpose and by-golly you really want your dreams to come true.

Plus, once you’ve had a dream come true, it feels so great you want that feeling back again and again. And once you’ve accomplished one dream, you know you’ve got the stuff inside you to make other's happen as well. So here is to another year of Dreams Can Come True. What are your dreams?


trenadoll said...

As Henry David Thoreau said:

"I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
from the "Conclusion" to Walden

Dream on, sister!

rkimedes said...

I think you've just said something profound, especially the part about how these are life changes, not something that you want to do for a year. I was telling my friends about this post at the New Year's Eve gathering that I went to, and I think we all decided to look at our goals a little differently this year. Erik was asking if I'd seen this post, and I told him that I thought it was really amazing, but I thought I'd tell you as well :)