* Someone breaks into a dance move that is so horrible it should be illegal – Don’t Call, just avert your eyes. I do it all the time when watching my kids, because I don’t want to burst out laughing, snorting or hee-hawing at them and ruin their self esteem.
* Someone attacks the sensibility of your brain with their lack of fashion sense (An often occurrence around here). - Don’t call. I know the fashion police might be real in TV land but they don’t have an office at your local police station.
* See an out of control fire in your fire pit that’s being fueled by a teenage boy and a couple of gallons of gasoline. This is a gray area folks. If the fire is close to consuming the teenager then you might want to call. If not, and the fire is stupid high but not really a danger. – Ugh, this is hard but there’s not a office for Stupidity at the local police station either.
* Have a Nightmare – Don’t Call – Trust me. I’m speaking from experience here.
So our friendly neighborhood patrolman stopped by our home as we were
screaming verbally directing the kids for the umpteenth time to get their tails into bed. Apparently someone had called 911 from our house.
But Who? Any Why?
We lined up all the registered cell phones in the house and checked the call history on all of them. – No 911 calls.
Then we checked Dad’s old cell phone that was next to the bed where little Hope was laying. BINGO. Even though it had no Sim card in it – apparently it was still able to make that emergency phone call.
So after lining up our half dozen bedtime delinquents in their various states of (probably fashion illegal) nightwear, and having little Hope admit to playing with Dad’s old cell phone the officer was appeased enough not to issue anything other than a smirk and a warning for Miss Hope about when not to call 911. Apparently being scared by a person who threatens you and your safety is reason enough, but being scared out of your pants because of a nightmare, well, that doesn’t count.
Now, after getting Hope to swear on my grave, not to call 911 if she has another nightmare, I’m going to go take my red face and hide it under a pillow.