My kids want me to go on The Biggest Loser. How comforting! Last night as I sat on the couch with Hope and was again reminded why I shouldn’t let her watch the show with me. Duh - As if I didn’t already feel bad enough about the state of my physical girth or lack of fitness. And this being on the heels of her pointing out (very loudly) at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago about how the man standing next to us in the check-out line looked like the guy on the Biggest Loser. I mumbled something along the lines of, ‘Oh you mean the one that Lost All That Weight?’
‘No the really big guy.’ she clarified, making me quickly want to stuff a candy bar in her mouth. Ugh. How embarrassing. I guess the tack lesson on not commenting on people’s sizes didn’t sink in.
So last night I was selfishly indulging my obsession with the show by watching it and Hope pointed out.
‘Mom, you need to be on the Biggest Loser Show.’ she said.
I kindly told her that I couldn’t because then I would be away from my family for a long time, maybe 3-4 months (that’s like forever to a four year old). That and I could take care of my pesky pounds just fine without Jillian screaming at me. Although secretly I think Jillian would scare the lbs. off me faster than anyone else on the planet.
Then Princess piped in, ‘Yeah, Mom, you really need to be on the Biggest Loser.’
What? Two against One?
Now, I don’t know if she wants me to lose the weight I’ve packed on lately or if she’s dreaming of how much nicer the home will be without mom there to nag everyone for a few months. Secretly, maybe Princess harbors some satisfaction of the thought of someone else chewing me out for a change. Hummm.
I have a love/hate relationship with this show. I watch it all the time, celebrate the contestants emotional break-throughs and accomplishments. Of course I shed rather hormonal tears when they play up the sob stories. I’m a sucker for sob stories, you see. Last seasons Abby left me a puddle of mush after every show she was on. And you bet I pray the contestants can find some way to keep off the lbs when they leave Never, Never, Ranch and head back into their stress-ridden real lives back home. I’ve heard the statistics aren’t good. Anyone could lose weight on the Ranch. They need to take the show into people’s homes and teach them to lose it while their chasing six kids to and fro to who-knows-what extracurricular activity they may be involved in. Oh and let’s see them lose weight at home when they are dealing with Mental Mountains the size of Emotional-eating Everest. That’s the show I want to see. Lose the Ranch folks. Get out in the real world.
Of course I criticize the show left and right. Regardless, no matter what bugs me about it, I’m right back there the next week cheering and blubbering. And yes, I watch it sprawled on the couch eating my very own bag of microwave popcorn, Lite of course.
Meanwhile I think it’s time I pulled the plug on my daughters watching the show with me. Before I know it they will recruit Abner to work his movie making charm to make a video audition tape to send in of me.
I do take a little comfort in the fact that Prince Erik loves me regardless of my emotional-eating mouth and he doesn’t want me to go on the show. Although I think the real reason he doesn’t want me to be on it might be the horror of having to do laundry and change the Kitty-litter box. At least he likes having me around.
So spill it blog friends – What Reality TV show is your secret fascination?