Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Biggest Loser and Me

My kids want me to go on The Biggest Loser.  How comforting!  Last night as I sat on the couch with Hope and was again reminded why I shouldn’t let her watch the show with me.  Duh - As if I didn’t already feel bad enough about the state of my physical girth or lack of fitness.  And this being on the heels of her pointing out (very loudly) at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago about how the man standing next to us in the check-out line looked like the guy on the Biggest Loser.  I mumbled something along the lines of, ‘Oh you mean the one that Lost All That Weight?’

‘No the really big guy.’ she clarified, making me quickly want to stuff a candy bar in her mouth.  Ugh.  How embarrassing.  I guess the tack lesson on not commenting on people’s sizes didn’t sink in.

So last night I was selfishly indulging my obsession with the show by watching it and Hope pointed out.

‘Mom, you need to be on the Biggest Loser Show.’ she said.

I kindly told her that I couldn’t because then I would be away from my family for a long time, maybe 3-4 months (that’s like forever to a four year old).  That and I could take care of my pesky pounds just fine without Jillian screaming at me.  Although secretly I think Jillian would scare the lbs. off me faster than anyone else on the planet.

Then Princess piped in, ‘Yeah, Mom, you really need to be on the Biggest Loser.’ 

What?  Two against One?

Now, I don’t know if she wants me to lose the weight I’ve packed on lately or if she’s dreaming of how much nicer the home will be without mom there to nag everyone for a few months.  Secretly, maybe Princess harbors some satisfaction of the thought of someone else chewing me out for a change.   Hummm.

I have a love/hate relationship with this show.  I watch it all the time, celebrate the contestants emotional break-throughs and accomplishments.  Of course I shed rather hormonal tears when they play up the sob stories.  I’m a sucker for sob stories, you see.  Last seasons Abby left me a puddle of mush after every show she was on.  And you bet I pray the contestants can find some way to keep off the lbs when they leave Never, Never, Ranch and head back into their stress-ridden real lives back home.  I’ve heard the statistics aren’t good.  Anyone could lose weight on the Ranch.  They need to take the show into people’s homes and teach them to lose it while their chasing six kids to and fro to who-knows-what extracurricular activity they may be involved in.   Oh and let’s see them lose weight at home when they are dealing with Mental Mountains the size of Emotional-eating Everest.  That’s the show I want to see.  Lose the Ranch folks.  Get out in the real world.

Of course I criticize the show left and right.  Regardless, no matter what bugs me about it, I’m right back there the next week cheering and blubbering.  And yes, I watch it sprawled on the couch eating my very own bag of microwave popcorn, Lite of course.

Meanwhile I think it’s time I pulled the plug on my daughters watching the show with me.  Before I know it they will recruit Abner to work his movie making charm to make a video audition tape to send in of me.

I do take a little comfort in the fact that Prince Erik loves me regardless of my emotional-eating mouth and he doesn’t want me to go on the show.  Although I think the real reason he doesn’t want me to be on it might be the horror of having to do laundry and change the Kitty-litter box.  At least he likes having me around.

So spill it blog friends – What Reality TV show is your secret fascination?


Trena Doll said...

Ugh - I am so OVER "reality" TV. In my book, it's all dehumanizing trash. I somehow got sucked into last season's "The Bachelor" and am still filled with self-loathing for wasting those hours of my life. Even the so-called "talent" competitions feel so mean and manipulative...the headlines are more about the judges/hosts than the performers anyway. Give me a well-crafted story any day of the week. Heck, give me a mediocre story with good production value and I'm good. :)

utmomof 5 said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Amazing Race. I would be on that show in a heart beat.

While I agree with you about how the Ranch is not at all like real life at home, I do think that going there and stepping away from life, getting the knowledge and education and most importantly figuring out WHY they are overweight is priceless. Yes, the statistics are not in their favor to keep the weight off but are they any different than people who lose the weight not on the biggest loser? I like the show and think it is worthwhile if it helps only a few people improve their health and therefore their lives!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

D watches this show---but I agree. It's one thing to live that lifestyle supported, another entirely to live in in REAL life! I love What Not To Wear, that's about the only reality TV I watch.
Maybe your girls just want to see you on TV...

Christi said...

Have to admit I like the Biggest Loser, too. Furthermore, I really like Survivor and always have. Ruby is good, too. And my really big secret reality show that I watch is Housewives of Orange County and New York and New Jersey. Now I am busted!

SarahS said...

I like Biggest Loser(no, you're not going to work out 8 hrs a day etc at home but I love seeing people get to the bottom of why they got where they are. And I think losing 1 or 2 or 300 lbs has got to be good one way or another. I think people will be more likely to keep weight off than to lose is by themselves), What Not to Wear(the emotional ones are my favorite, love to see someone's view of themselves change for the better), and Project Runway(in spite of the drama).

Natalie said...

No show! I hardly ever watch TV. I'd MUCH RATHER pick up a good book and snuggle down for a few hours.

I don't even know what goes on in the Biggest Loser, but I have a feeling your kids are just being critical and you don't need to go on at all.

Love from me :-)

Lisa Olander said...

You could join me in watching SURVIVOR! I know I would be the first off....but I love it just the same! It is my Thursday night ritual with my kids...boy do they hate being grounded on Thursday. It is just about the only hour of TV we consistently watch each week. You DEFINTATELY do NOT need to be on the Biggest Loser....YOU ARE A WINNER!

Nancy said...

Hey there--Haven't read your blog in awhile. I've missed seeing you--we need to catch up sometime soon hopefully. Well, you know how I feel about the Biggest Loser--I have first-hand proof that at least one of the winners did not keep it off unfortunately. As for reality shows---the only one I watch these days is American Idol--not quite sure why--probably because it's one of the only shows my hubby and I can agree on!