Because I’m Mad in a Looney Way

Because I am officially Mad (Just ask My Young and Gorgeous Counselor), I’ve decided, with Huge encouragement from the most miserable of last years attendee’s, to once again join the visionary Vanessa of A Fanciful Twist on her Imaginative “The Mad Tea Party of 2010”

To be honest, LAST YEARS party was a hoot and a cry all in one.  The food was enchanting.

But it’s what happened to the food after about 4 minutes that turned the tea party truly Mad.  Flying food was rightly a novel hilarity rolled up with future therapy sessions due to traumatizing my youngest with my breach of dining etiquette.

 

And when Vanessa announced that she was hosting again.  I wobbled.  I wanted to attend, yet I didn’t want to push my little family towards being committed to the Funny House.  But little Hope has overcome her fear of flying tarts and pies and has been the strongest advocate for our family to visit Wonderland again.  So being overwhelmed with encouraging support from every single  member of my family I’ve decided to accept Vanessa’s invitation with Excitement.

One thing on our side is that fact that we have Found the Rabbit’s Hole – which means more magic, mayhem, and madness than before.  I can’t wait.  Hope you’ll join us.   

When it’s Not Okay to call 911

*  Someone breaks into a dance move that is so horrible it should be illegal – Don’t Call, just avert your eyes.  I do it all the time when watching my kids, because I don’t want to burst out laughing, snorting or hee-hawing at them and ruin their self esteem.

*  Someone attacks the sensibility of your brain with their lack of fashion sense (An often occurrence around here).  - Don’t call.  I know the fashion police might be real in TV land but they don’t have an office at your local police station.

*  See an out of control fire in your fire pit that’s being fueled by a teenage boy and a couple of gallons of gasoline.  This is a gray area folks.  If the fire is close to consuming the teenager then you might want to call.  If not, and the fire is stupid high but not really a danger. – Ugh, this is hard but there’s not a office for Stupidity at the local police station either.

*  Have a Nightmare – Don’t Call – Trust me.  I’m speaking from experience here.

So our friendly neighborhood patrolman stopped by our home as we were screaming verbally directing the kids for the umpteenth time to get their tails into bed.  Apparently someone had called 911 from our house.

But Who?  Any Why?

We lined up all the registered cell phones in the house and checked the call history on all of them. – No 911 calls.

Then we checked Dad’s old cell phone that was next to the bed where little Hope was laying.  BINGO.  Even though it had no Sim card in it – apparently it was still able to make that emergency phone call.

So after lining up our half dozen bedtime delinquents in their various states of (probably fashion illegal) nightwear, and having little Hope admit to playing with Dad’s old cell phone the officer was appeased enough not to issue anything other than a smirk and a warning for Miss Hope about when not to call 911.  Apparently being scared by a person who threatens you  and your safety is reason enough, but being scared out of your pants because of a nightmare, well, that doesn’t count.

Now, after getting Hope to swear on my grave, not to call 911 if she has another nightmare,  I’m going to go take my red face and hide it under a pillow.

I Found My Twin

Well to be truly honest UTMomof5 of The Five Little Monkeys found her for me.  This Anita gal and I even have the same haircut, except she splurged and got cool highlights.    Oh, oh and her fairy tale dress is almost a dead ringer for my Junior Miss Evening Wear Dress (ain’t that a scary thought) that I wore in High School.  It’s still buried in my closet for that future day when I can fit into it again.

Regardless this lady is me except she got the the singing talent.

 

 

I nearly cried when Romeo stepped out of the car – How Sappy is That?

The Biggest Loser and Me

My kids want me to go on The Biggest Loser.  How comforting!  Last night as I sat on the couch with Hope and was again reminded why I shouldn’t let her watch the show with me.  Duh - As if I didn’t already feel bad enough about the state of my physical girth or lack of fitness.  And this being on the heels of her pointing out (very loudly) at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago about how the man standing next to us in the check-out line looked like the guy on the Biggest Loser.  I mumbled something along the lines of, ‘Oh you mean the one that Lost All That Weight?’

‘No the really big guy.’ she clarified, making me quickly want to stuff a candy bar in her mouth.  Ugh.  How embarrassing.  I guess the tack lesson on not commenting on people’s sizes didn’t sink in.

So last night I was selfishly indulging my obsession with the show by watching it and Hope pointed out.

‘Mom, you need to be on the Biggest Loser Show.’ she said.

I kindly told her that I couldn’t because then I would be away from my family for a long time, maybe 3-4 months (that’s like forever to a four year old).  That and I could take care of my pesky pounds just fine without Jillian screaming at me.  Although secretly I think Jillian would scare the lbs. off me faster than anyone else on the planet.

Then Princess piped in, ‘Yeah, Mom, you really need to be on the Biggest Loser.’ 

What?  Two against One?

Now, I don’t know if she wants me to lose the weight I’ve packed on lately or if she’s dreaming of how much nicer the home will be without mom there to nag everyone for a few months.  Secretly, maybe Princess harbors some satisfaction of the thought of someone else chewing me out for a change.   Hummm.

I have a love/hate relationship with this show.  I watch it all the time, celebrate the contestants emotional break-throughs and accomplishments.  Of course I shed rather hormonal tears when they play up the sob stories.  I’m a sucker for sob stories, you see.  Last seasons Abby left me a puddle of mush after every show she was on.  And you bet I pray the contestants can find some way to keep off the lbs when they leave Never, Never, Ranch and head back into their stress-ridden real lives back home.  I’ve heard the statistics aren’t good.  Anyone could lose weight on the Ranch.  They need to take the show into people’s homes and teach them to lose it while their chasing six kids to and fro to who-knows-what extracurricular activity they may be involved in.   Oh and let’s see them lose weight at home when they are dealing with Mental Mountains the size of Emotional-eating Everest.  That’s the show I want to see.  Lose the Ranch folks.  Get out in the real world.

Of course I criticize the show left and right.  Regardless, no matter what bugs me about it, I’m right back there the next week cheering and blubbering.  And yes, I watch it sprawled on the couch eating my very own bag of microwave popcorn, Lite of course.

Meanwhile I think it’s time I pulled the plug on my daughters watching the show with me.  Before I know it they will recruit Abner to work his movie making charm to make a video audition tape to send in of me.

I do take a little comfort in the fact that Prince Erik loves me regardless of my emotional-eating mouth and he doesn’t want me to go on the show.  Although I think the real reason he doesn’t want me to be on it might be the horror of having to do laundry and change the Kitty-litter box.  At least he likes having me around.

So spill it blog friends – What Reality TV show is your secret fascination?

A Heirloom Holiday.

No May Day protests or marches for us this year. Unless you count the kids protesting mom’s dinner cooking skills (or lack there-of). But hey, they are healthy enough to endure a few less than yummy munchies without it affecting their overall health. Instead we decided to keep our ongoing tradition of celebrating the forgotten holidays like May Day. My girls love getting decked out to take flowers to our amazing neighbors.

My Prince helped the girls create their 5 minute flower crowns and I finally finished a project long in the making. No it didn’t hardly take me any time to make, just forever in getting around to doing it. But actual sewing time… I’d say less than half a day for all three dresses.

Of course my mom helped with the skirts when she was here a few weeks ago. And I procrastinated the shirts until today. Want to know the secret?

These dresses are actually the second life of a beautiful used bedding set my Treasure of a Neighbor Jewel gave to me.

The bed skirt was a perfect fit for being refashioned into twirl-able skirts for my daughters. I can just see the girls dancing around a maypole in these… That maypole is still on my wish list. Maybe next year.

And I was inspired by Vegbee’s Peasant Blouse Tutorial to try and create my first ever peasant shirts for the girls.

Since I was winging it on the size, the shirts came out a bit big but looked great with a ribbon around the waist. And when the little ladies frocks were completed I was pleasantly surprised to see enough material left over to hopefully make myself a coordinating dress or blouse here in the future.

Last year we collected May’s first dew from weeds and grass. See previous post to explain that head scratcher. Somehow the myth about it helping your complexion didn’t pan out. So this year I’m setting my sights a bit higher. We collected our dew from my heirloom lilac bush instead of the grass.

Not that it will make any real difference but lilac dew just sounds more appealing than weed dew. And instead of adding soap like we did last year, I’m going to add perfume and teach my girlies to dab it on.

All in all it was a lovely day, a perfect day for getting back to blogging. Thanks for being patient with my break. It’s good to be back.