The Biggest Loser and Me

My kids want me to go on The Biggest Loser.  How comforting!  Last night as I sat on the couch with Hope and was again reminded why I shouldn’t let her watch the show with me.  Duh - As if I didn’t already feel bad enough about the state of my physical girth or lack of fitness.  And this being on the heels of her pointing out (very loudly) at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago about how the man standing next to us in the check-out line looked like the guy on the Biggest Loser.  I mumbled something along the lines of, ‘Oh you mean the one that Lost All That Weight?’

‘No the really big guy.’ she clarified, making me quickly want to stuff a candy bar in her mouth.  Ugh.  How embarrassing.  I guess the tack lesson on not commenting on people’s sizes didn’t sink in.

So last night I was selfishly indulging my obsession with the show by watching it and Hope pointed out.

‘Mom, you need to be on the Biggest Loser Show.’ she said.

I kindly told her that I couldn’t because then I would be away from my family for a long time, maybe 3-4 months (that’s like forever to a four year old).  That and I could take care of my pesky pounds just fine without Jillian screaming at me.  Although secretly I think Jillian would scare the lbs. off me faster than anyone else on the planet.

Then Princess piped in, ‘Yeah, Mom, you really need to be on the Biggest Loser.’ 

What?  Two against One?

Now, I don’t know if she wants me to lose the weight I’ve packed on lately or if she’s dreaming of how much nicer the home will be without mom there to nag everyone for a few months.  Secretly, maybe Princess harbors some satisfaction of the thought of someone else chewing me out for a change.   Hummm.

I have a love/hate relationship with this show.  I watch it all the time, celebrate the contestants emotional break-throughs and accomplishments.  Of course I shed rather hormonal tears when they play up the sob stories.  I’m a sucker for sob stories, you see.  Last seasons Abby left me a puddle of mush after every show she was on.  And you bet I pray the contestants can find some way to keep off the lbs when they leave Never, Never, Ranch and head back into their stress-ridden real lives back home.  I’ve heard the statistics aren’t good.  Anyone could lose weight on the Ranch.  They need to take the show into people’s homes and teach them to lose it while their chasing six kids to and fro to who-knows-what extracurricular activity they may be involved in.   Oh and let’s see them lose weight at home when they are dealing with Mental Mountains the size of Emotional-eating Everest.  That’s the show I want to see.  Lose the Ranch folks.  Get out in the real world.

Of course I criticize the show left and right.  Regardless, no matter what bugs me about it, I’m right back there the next week cheering and blubbering.  And yes, I watch it sprawled on the couch eating my very own bag of microwave popcorn, Lite of course.

Meanwhile I think it’s time I pulled the plug on my daughters watching the show with me.  Before I know it they will recruit Abner to work his movie making charm to make a video audition tape to send in of me.

I do take a little comfort in the fact that Prince Erik loves me regardless of my emotional-eating mouth and he doesn’t want me to go on the show.  Although I think the real reason he doesn’t want me to be on it might be the horror of having to do laundry and change the Kitty-litter box.  At least he likes having me around.

So spill it blog friends – What Reality TV show is your secret fascination?

Helga Here

So my DARLing trainer has been putting me through the torture ringer for the past few weeks and I’ve been putting myself through the Gladiator's Extreme Workout the rest of the time.  The weapons I use (just my body), no maces, or swords allowed.  The amount logged in three weeks of sweat soaked clothes, gallons of water sucked down and burning muscles from Hades is:

77 miles on the bike, 19 miles run on treadmill, 26 miles on the elliptical,  1000 Floors (Not steps but Floors) on the Stairmaster, and over 550 set (10 reps is 1 set) of Free Weights, Circuit Machines, or Core Exercise.  Currently averaging 1 1/2 hours a day – 6 days a week.  I know I’m insane so you don’t need to bother pointing that out.

I’m going for the biggest exercise challenge with hopes of qualifying, among the handfuls of other people weird enough to kill themselves, for 1 free years membership at the Health Club.  I could really use that free membership.

Results:  The muffin top is shrinking and my clothes are not feeling like the seams are going to burst anymore.  I now fit 3 pairs of pants instead of 2.  And I can run a 5K in 33 minutes (improved over 7 minutes off my time of a month ago, and 1 measly pound.

Just 1 lb.  (How discouraging is that?)

My young and gorgeous counselor told me to throw out the scale and not weigh in again for another 3 weeks (duration of workout challenge at the local gym).  I’ll take new measurements then too.

No I haven’t over compensated in eating more.  In fact I’m sticking to my WW points like they were gold.  I’m just waging war with my fat and it’s trying to see if I’m woman enough to keep going.  Stupid fat.

My goal – Hope that I can get back on track for my Marathon goal.  I feel borderline now as to if I will try the 10K in June.  If I manage it then I’ll feel like I’m back in the groove.  We’ll see.

Meanwhile, I think if I keep this insane workout schedule up I may be able to give Helga from American Gladiator’s a run for her money in muscle size.

Sorry I haven’t been around that much.  Spring Break was last week and the kids kept me hopping,  This week I relaxed a bit(recovering from what the kids did to me over Spring Break).

Well I’m off to find my garden among the weeds.  Pray I don’t get lost in that jungle.

Hello My Name is FawnDear...

and I'm a clutter-holic/emotional eater/addicted to computer Whatz-Her-Bucket.

And about now, I'm extremely grateful that I didn't set any New Years Goals because they would have all crashed and burned.  What with all the emotions of Flooding, Snowstorm from Hades, and the blasted house being invaded by rot, I turned to comfort food.  Gained those typical holiday lbs - plus some.

Fortunately for me I've a bunch of Loser Friends too.

Here's our gang signal. 

We meet once a week to get a new health challenge - last week was food tracking.  This week - drown ourselves with drinking a bucket load of water each and every day, then spending half the day running to the restroom.  I've not been as consistent with blogging because I'm so grouchy right now - Sugar withdrawal is killer.  I expect to be over it in a couple of days.

There are about 17 ladies in our group and the first week we lost a combined 37 lbs.  Not too shabby.  I think I was the loner gainer.  My lame excuse was two family birthdays, and emotional eating (what with the flood and being cooped up in the house with six kids for a month- it could drive anyone nuts). 

That was last week - This week I'm just a hair off perfect.    I've even got my allotted water in before 6 p.m. so as not to spend the night running to the bathroom.  I even ran 2  1/2 miles this morning.  Next week I expect something positive- I mean negative numbers on the scale.

After we get our challenge for the week, we watch the Biggest Loser while doing Yoga poses.  'DAR-ling' our team leader is the best!  I've learned more body twisting pretzel moves from her than I'd care to remember,  but it's all worth it.  And doing it with other chicks in the same boat doesn't hurt.

We totally criticize the 'Biggest Loser' show in the unrealistic way they exploit the contestants and make them lose the weight with a lifestyle that's totally not sustainable.  Come-on who is going to exercise 6-8 hours a day for the rest of their lives.  It's sad. 

We've even got a bigger excuse to watch the show.  Season One's Winner's Sister is in our group.  Sad thing is - he gained the weight back.  All of it - I think!  It's heart-breaking.  These people need more help than Bob and Jillian can give them.  They need therapy, to find out what their triggers are and they need to learn healthy living skills and incorporate those habit into the lives they lead at home.  Not lose it at a fat camp then go home and be immersed into their old lives. 

All that aside, we set there and cry and cheer and boo the contestants as they overcome hurdles, gain self confidence, and make mistakes.

Our bonus - each of us put $15 into a jar last week.  17 x 15 = a whole hunk of change.   The person who's lost the biggest percentage of body weight (not pounds) at the end of 15 weeks get's the whole $ pot. You know - to spend on a new wardrobe or whatever. 

I've got no more excuses - no more family birthdays, no more scheduled flood days (knock on wood), no more stress (Well it doesn't hurt to dream does it.  I'm going for it.  Maybe I can be a real Loser after all.   Now I need to go take some Ibuprofen for my aching muscles.

Simplicity is Contagious

The great thing about the month of nothing is that you really focus on simplicity. And not only the simplicity of eating less crap and wasting less money on junk of various shapes and sizes. Somehow focusing on the simpler life in one thing carries over to other areas. The big bonus for me is the area’s simplicity has been leaking off on. Namely my other nemeses of clutter and weight control. So my updates on those areas are pretty good.

For the clutter, which I’m always working on, I took on a challenge issued to my sis Trenadoll at an eight week organization class she’s attending. She’s kindly posting the organizing challenges on her blog and I figured I’d try and attempt them as well. So week one was get rid of half your clothes. (WHAT?) Did I hear right? It figures, because I heard somewhere that we wear 10 or 20% of our clothes 80% of the time so why would you need the other clothes that you don’t wear. So guess what – I did it- 50%. BEFORE!

Good-bye clothes.

But you need to hear my twist. In addition to losing the things I just never wear I also purged my closet of some of my more comfortable, elastic waist-ed clothes. So what did I keep – a lot of my snuggies. The darling outfits that are a bit tight or show my bludges more than I’m comfortable with.

Why? I’m insane, or brave, or a little of both. And it’s extra incentive to keep losing the blasted fat. I can’t let people think I’m a hoochie mama who dresses in clothes two sizes too small on purpose. So you bet, I’m going to burn those calories and eat healthy so that I don’t bust seams, scare the neighbors, and embarrass the noodles out of my kids.

For the weight – I’m almost at my two week mark and I can’t tell you exactly how much I’ve lost. Smiley doesn’t want to know because the suspense of not knowing if you’re ahead or behind on our $100 challenge is another incentive to keep going strong. So, even though I won’t tell you my total weight loss, I will tell you I’m below 170 lbs. mark now. Wahoo!

So this week I’ve been working on some more canning.

Sadly, this is all I have to show for 3 days of off and on canning. I’m still proud of it because I’ve never canned peaches or pears before and they turned out pretty good. The bad thing is I’ve discovered the real reason behind my slow canning experience. Our stove only has two burners. When we bought it we thought it would be amazingly cool to have a grill on one side and burners on the other. WRONG! The grill is such a pain in the ________! It takes an hour to clean after each use. So we don’t use it and are left with half a stove top that works – well sort-of. The large burner on the working side has a electrical short in it and you have to put pans on it just so or it doesn’t heat at all. ( I know I'm tempting fate with a house fire because of it.) Once I got my water bath boiling and was setting the timer for the peaches. I probably accidently jostled the canner when I put the lid on and 25 minutes later when the timer rang I discovered that the stove was off and the water had cooled. Good thing my kids like peaches because we’ve been eating that batch all week – Cobbler… anyone?

So next month I’m pulling for some new burner inserts for the stove top. This time we’ll be getting the four burners and skip the grill.

I haven’t attempted the oil filter change yet because I don’t want to buy oil and a filter in our small, but expensive, town and I don’t have enough errands planned to make it to the big city yet. But when I do go, I’m seeing if the supplies to make the change are cheaper than Jiffy Lube. If they are cheaper by $5 then I’m going to attempt it. You know, just because I like to acquire mad mom skills and all.

Tomorrow –I need to de-stickify the kitchen. That aught to be fun.

Dream On - Accountability

Well we survived our first two days of nothing but needs and did pretty darn well. The only thing I did that I probably I could have done differently was maybe rode a bike around the neighborhood to look for the dog instead of taking the car. But my legs were in no shape to pedal(see why below) so I took the car.

So here are my accountability dreams in a rather large nutshell.

Nothing but Needs? – Good – Everything I did purchase over the past two days came from a list and were definitely needs.

Dream Make-Over? - Don’t tell Smiley but that $100 wager is all mine. Don’t hate me because I’m so awesome. You always lose the most weight the very first week your on a program. I’m tactically consuming between 1300 and 1500 calories per day. Meal tracking, well I didn’t miss a single meal. So all is good there.

And I was rocking the exercises too. Monday I attempted my bogus Bogus. Prince Erik and I went on a 30 plus mile bike ride...

through some gorgeous country and bike climbed a pretty good hill (the big-ish one in the background). So about 6 miles of the 30 was, for me, serious climbing on a bike, of course. This is me on the climb thinking about what a stupid thing it is to ride a bike uphill.

Even though I think I could complete the Bogus Basin Bike race this Saturday in ID (14.5 miles all uphill). I would rather wait until I’ve trained a bit more for it and am 25 lbs lighter. So I’ll do it next year when I’m super skinny and a real fast mama. Prince Erik is still going to go and do it though and I’m sure he’ll have a super speedy time.

And for the Dream-On Clutter crusade – well we made another go at the old laundry room.

We tried to tackle it last spring but never turned it into the mud room we wanted it to be. So Monday Prince Erik found the boards I bought last spring, cut them, splashed some stain on them and slapped them on the wall.

And Ta-Da! We have a mudroom folks. For the first time in the 12 years my kiddos have been going to school, their backpacks now have a home. It’s probably going to take some getting used to because those backpacks still have floor magnets attached to them. I had to remind the kids about four times that their backpacks now have a really swell spot to call home and they better find it fast. It may take a few days to become a habit but I’m excited. Of course I plan on adding more shelves but I’m good for now.

So my three dreams of losing weight, de-cluttering and needs only had a great couple of days.
And I did while dealing with Hope bringing home a new friend….

And we had to deal with Itchy taking a three day vacation from our family. That there almost drove me to my emotional eating self. But every time I spied a overly tempting candy bar I thought which would I rather have? That mouthful of comfort or $100? The money won.

Hope let Itchy out of the house over the weekend. Because it was the weekend there was no one to talk to at the local found pet shelters to see if she had been turned in. Here’s where my needs took a backseat as I drove around the neighborhood searching for the rascally mutt. Fortunately a Good Samaritan apprehended Itchy after seeing her play chicken with some cars on local busy road. They finally saw the flyers the girls and I smacked up around the neighborhood and gave us a ring.

So Itchy is back home and under house arrest. And I'm psyched about following my dreams.

Accountability to the MAX!

I’m so sick of my weight plateau of the last few months I’ve decided to bring on the external accountability in hopes of achieving one of my big dreams for the year.

Here’s all 232 lbs of glorious me and how I probably looked in Jan 07.

Yes, I had to use a cane, but never again. Here’s the much improved and 57 lbs lighter me now.

I'm the watermelon standing next to Giggles, Sunshine and Fancy, my faithful and skinny workout buddies.

And my dream…

To be a sexy, hot mama and a total of 83 lbs lighter than my original starting weight by JAN 1, 2009. Don’t bother doing the math, I’ll embarrass the bageebers out of myself and just tell you. Probably make your day. I weigh 175 lbs. (GASP) can’t believe that I’m telling the world my dirty little secret. I’m still overweight, my Wii says I’m obese and then gives me a disapproving head waggle from my virtual Wii me.

Soooooooooo. I’m doing something about it. Now, This Day, No Looking Back, It’s ON! I'm going to lose at least 25 lbs. before the end of the year.

Here’s my 5 layers of accountability. I’ve spent the last few days lining them up and DREAM ON!

1. Put your money where your mouth is. To the tune of $100 Buck-a-roo’s! So my amazing friend Smiley actually thought of this one.

We are wagering $100 to the person who loses 25 lbs. first. We are practically twinners in how much we need to lose. Smiley was with me every step of my 20/20 program journey. She did the program right along with me. We swapped tot’s to go workout and to this day every time Hope see’s her she says, ‘Oh my Smiley’, and runs and jumps in her arms.’

So first one to lose 25 lbs. get’s the big bucks from the other. However, since our dream is on until Jan 1, they have to maintain their new and improved weight through that day. So if the winner hits goal and then gains 10 lbs on Thanksgiving turkey or Christmas pudding the person in 2nd (if at goal) may sneak the money back.

My good friend B thought of a good one as well. Donate money to a cause you fervently abhor every time you mess up and your sure to stay on track.

I know my mommy taught me never to bet but this is the exception. It’s for a good cause. I can always hope that we hit goal at the same time because then we can both do this...

2. Incentive or Reward. Since I’m going to win the $100 (Sorry Smiley, It’s all mine). I’m then going to treat myself to another Fawndear First. A Day at the Spa, and no it’s not Hope’s Spa, it’s the real sha-bang. Massage, Manicure, Haircut that costs more than $11 bucks, Facial, you name it I’m getting it. My very own make-over.

In fact Smiley was responsible for another Fawndear First last year – my first ever Pedicure!

We went back a couple of weeks ago to relive the embarrassing moment of seeing just how much dead skin can accumulate on one’s feet over the course of 30 plus years. Being ticklish, we giggled and snorted all while grossing out our little language impaired feet scrubbers. I guess its good we couldn’t understand what they were saying, but we could imagine it. Eww, Gross!

3. Record your dirty deeds. I feel my exercise is spot-on it’s the freaking food that gets me every time. So, I’m pulling out my meal tracker and logging every sinful bite I take and then some. I’m also logging exercise, water, vitamins, and pedometer steps. That poor old pedometer is going to be glued to my hip for the next few months – no if’s, ands, or buts. Meal tracking is my sure-fire ticket to win. I always lose weight when I track. Something about the thought of writing down 10 ho-ho’s keeps me from taking that first dreaded bite. And to keep me honest in my tracking...

4. Accountable to the masses. I’ve told five close friends that at any given time they can check my meal tracker and if I’m more than two meals behind in recording they get 30 minutes of manual labor out of me. Weeding, Scrubbing toilets, Chasing Rug rats, whatever cardio service they want (within reason – I’m not giving them a foot massage cause you can’t burn enough calories), they get. So I’ve got to cart that little meal tracker with me all the time.

5. You. So not only am I going to be accountable to my close friends I’ll post my weekly weight stats here. I know you’re thrilled. Who wants to hear from one more fat chick on the web? But I’ll be the fat chick with a little cheek thrown in to boot. And my after the makeover pictures should be one humdinger of a thing to behold. So tell me how great I'm doing and give me a virtual pat on the back, or cuss me out and tell me to move my fat lard a little bit more. Regardless, stick with me and pray I win that cash because I can’t afford to lose it.

On a side note I now have one working phone. So people can call me again. It's nice to know however that it's o.k. to turn it off if I need a little peace and quiet.

The Scale

Pollyanna needs some help. So I’ve really been trying to focus on the little sweet things recently (Homework from Y&G). But I keep getting sucked into focusing on the little not-so-sweet things.

For instance, I took much longer to fall asleep last night due to the fact that our bathroom scale finally broke. Who loses sleep over a bathroom scale? Me, that’s who. Maybe, I should explain?

You see, my scale and I go back a little over a year. It has been super dependable and would even save the weight for me so that I could see the progress. 5, 10, 25, 50, 60 plus, It’s all there. And it was rather accurate, and kept within 1 lb. of the scales at Pro Club. Can you start to see the attraction? If I get rid of it, well, that would be equivalent to painting over the children’s height milestones marks on the wall.

I had been so afraid of the weight creeping back on once I finished the 20/20 program that I visited ‘The Scale’ every day, sometimes twice a day. Enjoying the fact that I always weighed around two pounds less in the morning, than in the evening. Why is that? Go to bed, wake up and you’ve lost two pounds. Maybe I should sleep all the time. I’d hit goal weight a lot faster.

So regardless of the frequency, (maybe a compulsive disorder would be a more accurate description) visiting The Scale helped keep me accountable with myself. And I need (with a passion) to be accountable on the big dreams that I have.

So yesterday when Prince Erik excitedly called me into the bathroom to see his new weight low – I grudgingly went. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited that he has done so well and hit goal, but every time he checks in it reminds me that I’m not where I want to be yet. He was excited because he had hit a new low and wanted me to see. But when he stepped on in front of me all of the sudden he was five pounds over. We tried getting on the scale several times with wildly different results. Needless to say, his excitement rapidly faded as he and I both realized that our accountability friend had flown the coup.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the scale all day long. Worried that the weight clutter was creeping back in every minute that I stayed in the kitchen.

The good thing is that I meal tracked yesterday. I’ve been trying to for weeks but with one check point out of action, I needed something to keep me honest with myself.

I can’t replace the scale anytime soon. Because I wouldn’t want to settle for anything less than what we had, which wasn’t cheap. I guess if I was to see the sweet part of the whole ordeal, then I could imagine myself going to the gym more often to weigh in there. And maybe while I was at the gym I could actually workout.

So that’s my sad little focus. Have a great day. Now I’m off to mourn Charlton Heston, and see my clutter.

Living A Dream

One Year Anniversary!

The Horrific, Dreaded, Scary Prince Erik and Fawndear BEFORE....

Who are these good-lookin, o.k. I know that's a bit of a stretch, healthy looking folks. US AGAIN.

One year ago yesterday, I got this terrible pain in my thighs, biceps, whatever those non-existent stomach muscles are called, etc. You name it and it hurt. My pain was caused by a personal (torture) trainer named Lexi. Just kidding, she was awesome and didn’t torture me too much. But that was also the day I started living a dream. It wasn’t easy, I actually had to do the very hardest thing possible – put myself first.

Blah, Blah, Blah, Let me condense this ultra long story. Had six kids and packed on approximately 10 extra mommy lbs. per child. Right after I had number six I started shaking in my boots or crocs, whichever you prefer, literally. Nine months after the shaking started, countless specialists and of course the good old process of elimination, they diagnosed me with Essential tremor. Kind of sounds like a pregnancy, nine months of anxiety and finally the blessed arrival has a name. But finally knowing a name is much better than not knowing anything.

Anyway, back to the story. To make matters worse I cut back on my activity because activity seemed to make the tremors worse. Gained 20 more lbs. The bad news was that the tremors still increased, those pesky things. Took up the hip fashion of walking with a cane when my tremors started affecting my head and balance. But hey, at least I had something to thump my kids with if they gave me lip. Also gave up night driving because headlights made me blink like crazy. Made my poor slave children pull me in a rickshaw on family vacation because I couldn’t haul my own overly large carcass around. Took care of six kids and my kid husband on 40% capacity. Felt like an 80 year old lady with a soul of a teenager. Started taking umpteen medicines to control tremors, anxiety and frustration over what I can no longer do. Saw the downward spiral and finally hit ROCK BOTTOM! And you guessed it, finally did something about it. Yes, that was the condensed version. The unabridged version would take all day and then some.

My husband and I finally humbled ourselves to the point where we knew that we could no longer tackle the fat clutter monster that had consumed our bodies. So we turned to the professional’s at Pro Sports Club 20/20 Program. In the United States, of the people who lose weight only 1 to 2 percent of them are successful at keeping their weight off. At the 20/20 program 48% of them succeed. We wanted the odds in our favor. Believe me, they hit you from all angles possible, personal trainers, dietitians, Dr.’s, Psychologists, Group counseling. I estimated in my case I spent 15-17 hours a week traveling to and from, working out, or in meetings with the dietitian, group and counselor. You cannot help but do well because you are accountable to so many other people, every day. By the time the program is over, you are accountable to yourself as well.

It actually worked. Here I am a year later. No meds whatsoever. I keep pinching myself to let myself know this dream is reality. Down 70 plus lbs, with my first ever 5k's (three of them), two sprint-triathlon’s and just last month a half marathon under my belt. Look out Iron man (kidding)! But the biggest wowwie is the miracle that occurred along the way. My tremor’s all but disappeared. Now they only sneak in when I’m extremely tired, anxious, or in super cold weather. Good-bye cane, frustration, low self-esteem, excuses, etc.

It wasn’t just me, either. My husband dropped 80 lbs and is now lighter than when I met him in college. He got over his sleep apnea, constant reoccurring headaches and almost totally eliminated his high blood pressure meds. Our kids couldn’t help but be affected as well. I won’t even begin to recount how many times they accidently dropped their pants because they forgot to wear belts. Help, we are in desperate need of a wardrobe makeover around here.
We even had to come up with a code name for Evo-man to remind him to pull his pants up. All we have to do is say the word ‘Football’. That’s code for, ‘Hike you pants up son, your showing a little too much of your BVD’s and I’m blushing with embarrassment.’ As a family we have lost probably around 180 lbs.

Thank you, Lexi, Dani, Dr. Burner, Dr. Strater, Dr. Upton, Azucena, Peter, Paula, Michelle, my Great Friend Kami who did the program with me so we could swap kids, and everyone else who helped us find ourselves last year. Oh, happy dream!!!