Stick out your Tongue…

And catch some rain.

Hope and I got stuck in a little shower during our walk today. 

Absolutely refreshing.

So in addition to me moving a bit faster (Go Cardio), we caught raindrops on our tongues.  Had there been any puddles we might have stopped and splashed around a bit.  See I am movin’ again. 

After my last whiney post (sorry, it was a downer), I realized that sure, UnBlogAbles happen and they can throw you for a loop, mess with your mental and all.  However, I was also allowing it to be a crutch for allowing prior emotional eating, lack of exercise  bad habits to sneak back into my life.  No crutch today – ate right, got off my duff and went for a walk with my little munchkin.  We were loving the brisk air and changing colors, and yes even the rain.

   

Hope was convinced that the leaves were touched by fall fairies, and she had to collect her favorites.  How else could leaves change into such vibrant colors.  To a  kid, fairies seem much more logical than air temperatures and light cycles affecting seasonal change.

We must have interrupted the fairies because they had just began their work on this tree.

And I think it’s time to pick this beauty out of our garden and put the patch to rest for the winter.

Had another FawnDear first this week.  Saw a Black Bear in the wild about 1 mile from my home.  Tried to take a picture but he scampered into the tall grass. 

The furry guy was sitting under this ancient apple tree two nights in a row.  The first night I was so in shock from seeing a bear in the wild so close to home, I just parked the car and watched him watch me.  Silly camera was in my purse the whole time but I was too in awe to think of it.  Abner and Evo-man were with me and they were as wowed as I was.   The next night Prince Erik told me Fuzzy-Wuzzy was back (same evening time, same place) and so I flew there in the car this time with the camera ready.  However, he didn’t wait around.  I saw him scurry over to the tall grass - Just missed him.  I guess he likes apples and is filling up for his hibernation nap.  For the short time being I’m not taking any walks through the neighborhood in that direction.  Still was magnificent to see him.  Viewing these amazing creatures in the wild so buries the zoo experience, and gives you a little thrill.  Love the Pacific Northwest for showing me Bald Eagles, Orca’s and now Bears in the wild.  Not too sure yet that I want to see a cougar – but hey, if' I’m in my car like I was with the Bear it might be okay.

I’m not Perfect!

DUH! But flawed isn’t bad if you are working on becoming better. Since I cradled my first child in my arms, have aimed at being The Perfect Mother better than I was the day before. Some days are good and others tend to see me taking a step back.

The hardest thing for me to do is change. But change comes whether I’m ready for it or not. The hardest thing about change is that it sometimes means redirecting my short-term dreams. That’s what bites.

I had dreams of carrying on our family traditions of themed costumes for Halloween – organized and pre-preparing Christmas. My kids love it and I love doing it for them. I had dreams of conquering clutter. I mean who doesn’t want a Perfect nice clean home. Those dreams I had to shelve for the time being. They are not dead, and I mean to pick them back up, but it will be awhile. And that moment of time has dragged on for the past 12 weeks and threatened, every once in a while, to engulf me in misery.

However, I am strong.

The happy, healthy, crafty, mom you often see here on my blog is just one layer of a very complicated life I find myself leading at the present. It’s my preferred layer and one I’d slip into every opportunity I could find. However the Unblogable Happened. And it’s changed me, for better and worse, whether I wanted it to or not. I find the opportunity to slip into that comfortable layer of myself coming at fewer and farther intervals.

The Worst Part: I haven’t slept well or soundly more than a handful of nights since this has happened. And lack of sleep hasn’t had a good effect on my mental judgment. Let me tell you – Zombie Mom isn’t a pretty thing to behold.

Have fun looking at that in the mirror every morning. Okay, normally I'm not pulling faces at myself.

So on advice from my young and gorgeous counselor, husband, and Dr. Dad. I’ve started doing something I’ve never done in my entire life – take sleep aids (non-addictive ones, of course).

I’m going to be Sleeping Beauty before you know it. I promise to post those pictures when my amazing transformation Don’t hold your breath happens.

I’ve gained over 25 pounds in the last 12 weeks and am now only 13 lbs lighter than I was at my all time high. If I was a swearing type of person, which I’m not. That statement would have been followed by a super long string of very colorful adjectives, which would make you blush crimson. Thank goodness I don’t Swear. But may I say, ‘Oh, My HONK!’ I let what happen to myself? My whole marvelous transformation into that half marathoner has evaporated overnight it seems.

Can I say right now that I suspect Chocolate has a dark side. Maybe, it was even created by the Devil himself. Stupid Chocolate. You are no friend of mine. So stop tempting me.

I miss my best friend more than anything in the world. Somehow knowing that it might be years before I can spend meaningful time with this most cherished friend rips my heart out. I know this person feels the same way.

Fawndear… Why then let go of the costumes and clutter fighting, especially when they brought such joy?

I’ve ran out of time. I have less than 4 days a week to do the household work of a whole week. And I’m sorry, but clean underwear and clean dishes trump costumes and that pile of clutter on the table.

I miss reading. I tend to read 2-3 books a month but when the UnBlogAble happened my mind wouldn’t focus on the pages of any book. Even books that were recommended to help me through this tough situation. I start to read and my mind goes in an entirely different direction and I’ll have to re-read the same page 3 different times before I feel I’ve even glimpsed at what the whole darn thing was about. So the escape of reading is on the back burner as well.

Enough whining FawnDear. Enough. Sorry to indulge you in my little pity party. What I really wanted to tell you was the other side.

The Better: Since the Unblogable happened, my family’s happiness means more than it ever has. Taking the moments to tuck the kids in, kiss their foreheads, and tell them how wonderful I think they are has never been easier. My priorities have never been easier to choose. Loving my family is way more important than putting on a good show for the PTA.

My testimony in my Savior has been strengthened tenfold. I witness daily, little miracles and tender mercies (Daily, I say, sometimes hourly), that tell me that I, and each of the members of my family are important and loved individually by our Heavenly Father. Those miracles have buoyed up my spirit and kept me from that misery that lurks nearby. Without that sure knowledge I know I wouldn’t have been able to handle this whole unblogable situation. Prayers are answered! And dreams do come true. Sometimes they just take a while coming around.

Angles are real. Both unseen and seen. I feel as if I’m surrounded by both. How amazing it that?

So that whole Holiday Countdown list on the side of my blog is Changing. I was feeling guilty about not being able to measure up to my own expectations. When the truth is I’ve been doing remarkable with getting anything done at all. And to recognize those small steps in the right direction, instead of telling you what I want to do over the coming week, I’m going to tell you what I was able to accomplish in preparation for the holidays. Even if it’s only 1 thing.

So last week. I finished decorating the crafts for my Fairy Godmothers cabinet.

The final touch was some magical books.

To see how I made the enchanted books you’ll have to visit Mommy Blessings. Who’d have thought you could stick so many little magical glitter pixie dust containers in an old book? The kids and I had a fun time making our magical decorations.

Who knows what I’ll be able to accomplish this next week. It may be major and it might only be one little drawer uncluttered. But whatever it is, it won’t come between me and loving my children. And if my children know their mom loves them beyond all shadow of doubt, then I’ve made a difference that counts.

Thank you for listening to my rant. I'm much better now. And promise the next post will be super happy.

Have Broom, Will Travel

Is the slogan of my newest Tee-shirt. And my kids wholeheartedly agree that it suits me to a Capital T.   I only wear it on house cleaning days.

Today was one of those days.  The weatherman said that Fall was finally going to arrive this week in the form of cold weather, abundant rain, and frisky wind - so that meant one last sweep of the garden of weeds to see what I could harvest.  It was a little scary.

Yet, with Hope’s eagle eye (I guess it helps to be closer to the ground), we were able to pull in a nice last haul.

Yikes, now I’ve got to plan a couple of days just to process all of this food for storage.

Will someone tell me why I planted beets?  I don’t even know how to cook them.  I guess it will just have to be another Fawn first moment in the making.

Now for the update on my Holiday List.  See I remember that I was supposed to make a list and read it.  And I deserve a gold star for actually completing most of that list.  I’m still digging up a couple of addresses on my Christmas mailing list and there are still some Halloween decorations I need to finish making.

The kids and I had a hoot making several super-fun crafts:  Including  some Potions Labels for an odd collection of different shaped bottles.  You can check out my Mommy Blessings Blog to see how we made them.

I’ve also been working on repurposing some vintage looking books into something enchanted.  

Shhhh, don’t tell hard core book lover’s that I’m cutting up books, or they might not let me in the second hand bookstore any more.

 

From the ’Joy of Words’ to ‘The Joy of Wands’.  And I’m turning the old fall-aparts into Magical Books that hold secret compartments, fairy quotes, and magical goodies.

Can’t wait to show you how I made them.  Of course I’ll post the instructions on Mommy Blessings when I finish.

So, as you can see, I haven’t finished decorating for Halloween so that’s back on my list for week 2 as well.

What’s up with my Holiday Countdown.  Well here’s Week 2:

1.  Um – Complete Halloween Decorating – Still.

2.  Sew at least 1 Halloween Costume.

3.  Cut out patterns for some Christmas Presents

4.  Design a Christmas Card.

and that’s in addition to preserving all those goodies from the garden,  and keeping my sanity in check.

On a side note:  The blessing keep coming.  My good friend Ethel stopped by and helped me clean up my sticky floor today - Just because she had nothing better to do than earn saint points from on high.  Maybe she was just disgusted that you couldn’t walk through the house without something gummy glued to your shoes or socks – or maybe, just maybe, she might be an angel in disguise.  I’m leaning towards the notion that she’s an angel.

Bon Voyage – Sniff.

Glad I’m not the one calling the shots.  So grateful the Big Guy Upstairs is.

And this is why…

My husband loved this boat, babied it, took better care of it than any other vehicle he owned.  If it didn’t get washed down every time he pulled it out of the water he would go nuts.  The thing sparkled it was so clean.

 

I on the other hand was the boat Grinch and sometimes despised the cost of the big hunk of  …,   BUT I Loved the memories he was able to make with our children and family on it.  Financially, it was a strain.  But we were always careful.   It was a Joy!

On board we visited different countries, (Hello Beautiful Victoria,Canada, and the country of imagination – Yo Pirates), scenic and quaint picturesque islands of the San Juan’s.

 

Nearly every trip to the San Juan’s we were able to see the breathtaking Orca’s in their natural habitat.  And their beauty in nature is so awe-inspiring that the Orca shows’ at Marine Parks pale in sad comparison.  I’ve never seen anything so beautiful as free Orcas, dolphins, sea lions and soaring bald eagles.  All of which are plentiful in the islands.

 

Having a boat gave us the freedom to explore scenic State parks that could only be reached by personal craft. 

Plus, we always got the best seat in the house every time the Blue Angels came to town.

Prince Erik loved tossing the kiddo’s overboard.  They loved it too.

And we could drag them around by a rope when they gave us any lip.

 

‘Faster, Daddy, Faster.’

 

We put our boat on the market 1 1/2 years ago when our families finances started to show some strain.  But nearly everyone else in the country was undergoing similar money woes.  So the people who viewed my husbands pride and joy were few and far between. 

Last spring was the best time to sell.  Before boating season began.  But days turned into weeks and we couldn’t understand why it was taking so long to sell.  It was meticulously maintained, had less than 275 engine hours, and was priced competively. 

Then around 10 weeks ago when the biggest trial our family has ever gone through hit – the boat was a blessing from heaven.  We knew that Heavenly Father knew we would need it.  That’s probably why it hadn’t sold.  For three weeks it sheltered and buoyed us up.  Somehow, it also got more wear and tear on it than it had the previous 8 years we’ve owned it.

 

Then things calmed a bit and we cleaned it up.  We were so grateful that it hadn’t sold because the sweet boat saved our bacon during those three weeks at the end of summer.

But finances were still tight and we had to list the boat again without much hope of actually selling it because – Who buys a boat after boating season is actually over?  However once it was listed we had people calling round the clock to look at it.  More than in the previous year combined.

Once again we realized that we are not in charge.  God is.  He knows what we stand in need of and has taken care of us yet again.

The boat was sold.  And Friday it left our family with it’s new owners.  And at Sunset – how appropriate is that?

Some say that the happiest days of a boaters life is the day he buys the boat and the day he sells it.

Not true!  It was a sad day Friday – we will miss the big hunk of gas-guzzling family fun.  It was a huge sacrifice on my husbands end in order to keep me a stay at home mom for a while longer, and pay for new unexpected expenses.

It was also a reminder of the fact that when we rely on the Lord his time-table will always be the right one.  We can’t see the end like he can and we sometimes get impatient.  But he knows our true needs and has taken us under his wing yet again.

Someday, I’d love to buy my Prince another boat.  To see him standing behind the ships wheel with the wind blowing through his hair, with a big old school boy grin on his face  - That would melt my heart with joy.  It might not be for a long while yet.  But maybe just maybe one day we’ll hear the sweet little voices calling to him,  ‘Captain,  permission to come on deck?’

‘Aye!’

My Brain… What, Where?

I’ve discovered over the past nine plus weeks that stress can do really funny things to your brain.  Mine has gone missing. I am searching for it as we speak.  My short term memory is shot to bits. 

I constantly find myself driving to somewhere totally unrelated to where I need to be or asking my  husband the same question I asked him not 5 minutes before, because I forgot his answer.  It’s a little scary.  But I think I’ve got a solution to my problem.  It’s called Sleep, Exercise, and eating something other than Chocolate and Sugar.  DUH!!! & UGH!!!

 

And while I’m working on those three things I’m relying heavily on Lists to help me stay on track.   Lists are great except I have to remember where I put the lists and then I have to remember to actually look at the lists.  Wow, that’s a lot for a fried brain to remember.  But it’s working.  Thankfully I haven’t misplaced any kids yet,  they wear clean clothes, eat healthy foods, and we still visit the land of imagination occasionally.  Yes, my house is very messy and still cluttered but no matter how hard things are I’ve got to remember to Smile and keep going. 

Seeing how I’ve already lost one week off the 100 days till Christmas – I’ve got to get BUSY!!! Without losing what’s left of my brain as well.

I found my Holiday planner and I’ve thrown out the pages I no longer need, and have fresh pages in to start to work on. 

So over the next week this is my Holiday Checklist.  I’ve decided to show you the ideas on what I’ll be making my kids because they never read my blog, I’m not interesting enough and they know that I’ll tell them if I blog about them.  However my siblings who probably check daily to see if I’ve been committed to the funny farm yet, are not going to get any hints on their gifts.  Neener, neener, NEENER!  But remember my WISH budget of $200 which means simple, but hopefully meaningful.

So this weeks HOLIDAY countdown includes…

1.  Update Holiday Mailing List.

2.  Decorate for Halloween. (with the exception of carved pumpkins. For that would make a moldy gooey mess if done now)

3.  Finalize costume plans.

4.  Start planning Christmas Gift Lists

So that’s what’s happening on the holiday front.  On the Home front.  I’ve got to process all the goodies my garden is throwing at me.

Thankfully the girls are excited to enjoy these last few days of our Indian Summer.  Lea picked and cleaned some carrots for me.

While Princess and Hope decided to tackle a weed patch without me even asking them.

I think they were motivated to uncover this hidden treasure.

Silly weeds had no chance against those two.  They uncovered the bike in no time.

Now I’ve just got to clear out the garage so we can hide the bikes from future weed infestations.

Well I’m off – lots of work to wrap my mind around.  Now where did I put that list?

Quick, Hide the Scissors

Nope, it’s not what you think.  Princess did not take the scissors to her hair again.  Dad did.

So Valiant Prince Erik has been taking over the girls hair Sunday morning.  He has mastered pony tails, and even taken a stab at braids.  The girls looked Fabulous.  However, when it comes to trimming bangs…

Opps!

Pirate Party!

Ahoy There Me Hearties!   Well we survived our International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

 

Even our teenage boys got in the spirit of the day and texted their friends in pirate lingo.  Twas fun hearing an occasional Arrggh, and Shiver me Timbers, as they would be conversing with acquaintances on the phone.

And although I would have loved to use this fun idea, I just didn’t have the time.  Maybe next year.  For the Family Fun’s Treasure Chest Cake see directions here. 

I especially found the comment about baking it in large loaf pans helpful, as it’s much easier to frost baked sides instead of cut sides.

If your a wee bit more adventurous you could try this one.  Instructions here.

For our little shindig, I plundered some pirate plates, black cups and loot at the local $1 store.   Arggghh,  Then I loaded them up with Buccaneer Grub that included. Pirate Cookies made from Fudge covered Graham Crackers with White Icing Gel.

And any Pirate Party on board our ship wouldn’t be worth it’s salt without a little Root Beer and Pirate Booty.

And if you can eat fish and not feel like your stomach is rolling on the high seas then for your main course have some Clam Chowder, Hard Tack Biscuits, and Salted Meat Ocean Adventure Chicken Nuggets.

I know, I know, this isn’t the most nutritious grub to grace your Pirate Plate.  So work it off by playing a rousing game of…

Pirate Charades.  Act out words like treasure, parrot, eye-patch, Hook, Jolly Roger, Skull and Crossbones, Walk the Plank, spyglass, cannon, peg leg, Black Beard, Shiver me Timbers, Cabin Boy, etc.

And what’s a Pirate Party without a Treasure Hunt.

Make your map from a brown paper grocery bag.  Crumple it up and soak it wrinkled paper in a blended mixture of 1/2 cup water and 1/8 cup cocoa powder. The plus side is that the map smells great and looks ancient.  Wring the liquid out and dry flat.  When it’s dry just decorate it with colored pencils and you have a nifty Pirate Map.  Hide your loot then let your little buccaneers search for their buried treasure.  It’s a bonus if you have a nearby beach or sandbox at your disposal.

We couldn’t make it to the beach today on account of the abundant liquid sunshine.  But between the cloudbursts the girls and I enjoyed an nice jaunt through the neighborhood looking for that Treasure.

And what’s a Treasure Hunt without the Pirate Eye Patches?

We looked high and low for that accursed gold but all we found was some frightfully delicious wild blackberries.

And some precious trinkets dropped by a very generous tree.

  

And all the gold we found just happened to be in a beautiful last display of summer.

The girls we a wee bit disappointed in the natural treasure hunt wild goose chase I led them on. 

Not me.  I loved every moment with them.  Especially loved to see them helping each other out.

 

The surprise came at the end of the hunt when we arrived back home and Prince Erik Captain Erik presented his little crew with a bag of loot.  

We let them know that you can search for treasure the whole world over and no matter what you find, it will never be as sweet or rewarding as the treasure of family and home.

Might I say I have the best Captain and Crew ever!