Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Chocolate vs. Fawndear. Score 2-2

I’m convinced that Satan created chocolate because he knew he could never get me to try his vices of alcohol, smoking, coffee, and Diet Coke, etc. After I had successfully conquered my some-a-day Chocolate addiction of a little over a year ago, I thought I was home free. But the Tempter caught me at a weak moment of sickness, stress, and that Blasted Valentine’s Day. So I had two glorious and horrible days of chocolate splurging last week. One of those days I even probably consumed my daily allotment of calories just with those beastly delicacies.

I paid the price of course, and then some. You would think the payment extracted of my indulgence would be a couple pounds of added lard to my body. Yup, that’s right but it succeeded in also doing something I had no idea it could do. Well maybe I had inkling, but I had no idea how severe this encounter would be. They warned me that I shouldn’t have caffeine with my tremors because the additive could cause them to flare. Well, how bad could it get? Apparently bad enough to throw off my entire chemical balance. I’ve been shaking like a leaf for 3-4 days. I assumed that I would go through withdrawals for a couple of days but I had no idea that it could last this long. I’ve been super good at meal tracking and eating healthy since Friday, but the cravings are horrendous. My Young & Gorgeous former 20/20 counselor told me that it would take some time to feel normal again. Stupid Chocolate.

Round 1 goes to Chocolate.

So anyway I went into some Pharmacy store the other day to get some batteries and there they were sitting on the shelf beaconing to me. Large Valentine's Package's of Leftover
Green, The New Color of Love M&M's
. See if they don't talk to you too.
‘Hey, look at us! We are 75% off. Can’t beat that deal,’ they basically hollered at my subconscious.

‘Wow, look at you. And look at that color. You would be perfect for the little household leprechauns to put in my kids St. Patrick’s Day treasure boxes (future blog, I promise)’.

‘I know we are pretty big bags, but darn you have a lot of kids so you might as well pick up a couple of us. They will love us.’

‘Oh, your right I’m so excited that I found you.’ I thought as I quickly picked up a couple of bags.

However, somewhere off in the far distance thought process of my brain a little temptation imp started calmly adding these thoughts. I don’t think I actually heard him talking because that would make me a paranoid schizophrenic but I understood full well what he meant.

‘You know that you’ll probably want to eat some of those yummy morsels. Why, didn’t you just shove down a bag of them last week? To be safe you better get three bags so that when you give into the chocolate temptation you’ll still have some for your kids.’

I quickly ignored him, picked up a third bag and purchased them, sat them on the front passenger seat of the car and quickly drove off to meet with my Young & Gorgeous friend.

Round 2 goes to Chocolate.

I promptly admitted to Young & Gorgeous the whole Wonder Woman experience of last week and slowly but surely she got around to asking how my shopping was.

I couldn’t lie so I told her about those three big tempters sitting down in the car and I told exactly what thoughts had been going on in my head in my head when I bought them.

I finally saw them for what they were.

Little addicting balls of fat, pro-tremor medication cleverly disguised in a bag called Love. Nasties.

So I sent them off to try some fire and brimstone (hopefully an incinerator somewhere melted them to nothing). See there was this huge, lid as heavy as a car, garbage container in back of her building. They tried to smooze their way out of being tossed but I was stronger. In I plopped them right on top of someone else’s baby’s dirty wraps. There’s no way I’d crawl in to get them back.

Round Three and Four goes to Fawndear. I figure that was worth two points because I wasn’t subjecting my kids to the sugar-high monsters as well.

So I’ve been clean and sober of those pesky guys since last Friday and I mean to stay that way. There's too much on my plate to feel this yucky, and I’ve already committed to a couple of races coming up in the next couple of months, that will help get me going on the exercise stuff again. So here’s to the withdrawals ending soon. Good-bye Chocolate you foul, fair-weather friend!


Trena Doll said...

Wow. Great job with defeating the green chocolate foe. I want you to know that I'm here to help. Next time - if you want to really get them far away from you...go ahead and ship them off to me :)

Anonymous said...

Way to go! I am sorry that your other chocolate experience hit you so hard. That is crazy. Stay away from that stuff, if that is what it does to you. You are the stronger one in the fightanyway. You have a brain. Just remember what a lie Chocolate really is. Go work out and get some endorphins that way. You inspire me. When is your first race?