Thursday, May 22, 2008

When things get tough...

When things get tough, and it seems like this has been an exceptionally tough week... I do this...

1. I run. Well it’s more like a slow-mo jog – and I’m not very good but running helps me think. I never listen to music because I’m constantly surrounded by noise. I run quiet and use that time to try and sort out what’s going on.

2. I pray & read scriptures. Of all the things that I can do, it’s the one thing that gives me the most Hope that no matter how dark the day is it won’t last and it will get better.

3. I get busy. It helps so that I don’t dwell on what isn’t working right and helps me be grateful for what is going o.k. That and the second I mention that I’m going to go weed the kids scatter so I know I’ll have some uninterrupted time. I took some of my aggression out on a corner flower bed this week.

O.K. I took a lot of aggression on it.

And once I was done with the weeding I got a great dream of what I’m going to turn it into.

I realized that it’s a reminder of the Home I grew up in.

The Lilac bush is actually from a start my younger brother and mom started for me from the lilac’s at our family farm. The farm was sold but I’ll have the bush as a reminder of where I grew up. This is the first year that I’ve gotten more than just a couple of flowers on it. Lilac’s are truly on of my favorites. The red rocks around the flag pole are also from the farm. They remind me of the rock hauling and rye pulling I did with my family in working in the wheat fields. And we had to have a flagpole, although it took me years to find one. My husband, for a while, had been in one scout calling or another for almost 16 years straight, and I’ve served a load in Cub Scouts in various positions. It’s in our blood.

With so many memories in that little plot of dirt I’ve decided to make it my little heritage garden and only put plants in it that remind me of my childhood and family. My next additions will be Shasta Daisy’s (my Mom’s wedding flower), Snapdragons (Because they surrounded Grandma Big Hearts home when I was little), and Tulips (To remember my Grandma Royal Farmgirl). I’m actually really excited to see how it turns out. But I’m already enjoying the memories.

4. I try to Love. Sometimes it’s hard to love a child who is bent on pushing every button ever created, but no matter how hard that love is, it’s still there. And if I seek for help from above sometimes I can get a glimpse of the divine love that our Heavenly Father has for each of us no matter how messed up we get.

I also try to show myself a little love, like doing something I really, really, want to do (Like Portland), or reading, or surrounding myself with awesome friends. And I try not to love myself with food because when I do that usually turns on me and backfires.

5. I keep chugging along. Sometimes the best thing to do is to keep going through the motions. Curling up in a ball never worked well for me. I may give myself a super tiny pity party excuse but it never lasts long.

It’s putting one foot in front of the other, even when you don’t feel like it, that will get you to your desired destination.

How do you get through your dark times?


Trena Doll said...

For me, lots of sleep & chocolate. Generally - when things are rotten around here I can't blame it on anything but myself. I just wait it out...something almost always comes along to distract me from my woes, eventually.

Anonymous said...

I like your little memory garden. What a good idea. Looks great. I hope you are okay. You are amazing, and whatever it is that got you moving, will only last but for a short moment. Hang in there. Kids grow up really fast. I hope they look back and remember everything you do alone for the whole crew. They will love you for it and call you blessed. That SOMEDAY will come. Love you sis,

Faith said...

Praying and reading the Bible are a HUGE part of how I handle big stressors. It also helps me to think about all of the people who have it way worse than me- like parents with chronically sick children. Hang in there! God is good and His peace certainly does pass all understanding!